Happy Chrismukkah to all the Evas in the World
This post is in response to Eva, who doesn't like the idea of Chrismukkah and wrote a series of comments to my last blog entry. Let this serve as a more general response to the similar critical emails we receive each year from both Christians and Jews:
Eva, thanks for your thoughtful reply.
First of all, I'd like to clear up a few things you've accused me/us of. Not that it really matters all that much, but I feel obligated to correct your incorrect assumptions. It's because of people who lack tolerance and holiday cheer that we created Chrismukkah.com in the first place. You don't know us, but you go out of your way to post to the Chrismukkah blog...apparently just to put us down. It saddens me to feel the condescension, anger and resentment in your words, and I can only wonder how your brand of Judaism brought you there.
1 - You oddly assume we are raising our daughter as a Christian, and to celebrate Christmas. Where did you get that from? It's actually the opposite. Michelle and I together decided a few years ago to raise our daughter as a Jew. Our daughter was named in honor of my maternal grandmother, the German-Jewish daughter of pre-Israel Zionists, a woman who married the handsome Lutheran boy next door, only a few years before the Holocaust began. I am on the board of directors of our community temple. I am a proud Jew. I went to Hebrew school, was Bar Mitzvah'd and am very involved in our small Jewish community here in Bozeman. Our rabbi instructed us that Reform Judaism considers one who is raised as a Jew, with Jewish traditions, is indeed a Jew, even if the mother isn't. I know that may not go down well with Conservative Jewish beliefs, but that is what we chose to do.
2 - Yes, I could use a spell checker. Clearly, spelling is not my forte... but I just type, without worrying too much about spelling, typos and grammar. It's just a blog. One I can't imagine many people are interested in reading. It doesn't help that I code in raw HTML, without benefit of a spell checker. And, obviously, I don't have an editor on staff here at Chrismukkah.com.
3- Believe it or not, we have not profited from Chrismukkah. The niche appeal of the site pretty much guarantees we never will. Chrismukkah is a labor of love, a project of the heart. Over the past 3 years, it's been a sort of "mitzvah", as my rabbi calls it. I don't mean to bitch, but you brought it up. Since founding the site 3 years ago, it's cost considerably more to operate the Chrismukkah venture than we receive in sales and royalties combined. While I certainly wouldn't oppose being compensated for the thousands of hours it's taken to build and maintain the website, write and photograph content for the two books, and answer the dozens of emails we receive each day, making a profit from Chrismukkah.com has never been a priority. This is a volunteer project... we receive no compensation.
Why do we do this then? It's a form of social activism, I suppose. Ego motivates me too, no doubt. It's nice to get fan mail, and for every negative comment like yours, there are 10 positive comments. Frankly, it's fun to challenge the status quo and question tradition. Chrismukkah has gotten people talking, allowing expression of diverse opinion, and it's helped bring Jewish intermarriage issues to mainstream cultural awareness. Michelle and I launched the site to express the views of our "real" interfaith family, rather than allowing a fabricated Fox TV family to represent us. While we are typical, in the sense that (until Chrismukkah) we never had a political or theological agenda, we certainly don't believe we represent the beliefs of all interfaith couples. That said, it has been a nice surprise to find how many others share our beliefs and values. We've found that celebrating both December holidays... not literally merging them... but celebrating both, rather than excluding one or the other, we manage to keep peace and harmony within our family. Our family celebrates Hanukkah as most American Jews do - with menorah lighting, latke frying, dreidel spinning, and gift exchanges on each of the 8 nights. We also have a Christmas tree in our living room, in the opposite corner of course, and my wife cherishes the ritual of decorating the tree. I've heard from many Jews who say they refuse to allow their spouse to bring a Christmas tree into the house... that having a tree disrespects their Judaism. I don't believe that's a very good way to make a marriage work.
4 - Agreed. Hanukkah is not an important Jewish holiday... at least it's not relative to the more religious Jewish holidays. Hanukkah commemorates Jewish oppression and the ongoing struggle for religious freedom. But it's not a particularly religious holiday, making it more acceptable to make light of.
5- My family celebrates Hanukkah and Christmas independently. Then we also have our pretend shared family holiday of Chrismukkah. Chrismukkah allows us to enjoy what we have in common, instead of accentuating what makes us different.
6- Not all Jews live in Jewish safe havens like New York. Try living or traveling elsewhere to learn how a broader cross-section of Jews think and feel.
7 - Christmas is not just about Christ. It may well be for religious Christians, but for the rest of us, who, despite not believing in Christ, still can enjoy going to the Nutcracker Suite ballet, holiday music, holiday movies, the lights and decorations downtown, the store windows, and the other festive secular rituals of the season. Not to mention that long ago, our government decided to make Christmas a Federal holiday... just like Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, and MLK Day.
Eva, thanks for your thoughtful reply.
First of all, I'd like to clear up a few things you've accused me/us of. Not that it really matters all that much, but I feel obligated to correct your incorrect assumptions. It's because of people who lack tolerance and holiday cheer that we created Chrismukkah.com in the first place. You don't know us, but you go out of your way to post to the Chrismukkah blog...apparently just to put us down. It saddens me to feel the condescension, anger and resentment in your words, and I can only wonder how your brand of Judaism brought you there.
1 - You oddly assume we are raising our daughter as a Christian, and to celebrate Christmas. Where did you get that from? It's actually the opposite. Michelle and I together decided a few years ago to raise our daughter as a Jew. Our daughter was named in honor of my maternal grandmother, the German-Jewish daughter of pre-Israel Zionists, a woman who married the handsome Lutheran boy next door, only a few years before the Holocaust began. I am on the board of directors of our community temple. I am a proud Jew. I went to Hebrew school, was Bar Mitzvah'd and am very involved in our small Jewish community here in Bozeman. Our rabbi instructed us that Reform Judaism considers one who is raised as a Jew, with Jewish traditions, is indeed a Jew, even if the mother isn't. I know that may not go down well with Conservative Jewish beliefs, but that is what we chose to do.
2 - Yes, I could use a spell checker. Clearly, spelling is not my forte... but I just type, without worrying too much about spelling, typos and grammar. It's just a blog. One I can't imagine many people are interested in reading. It doesn't help that I code in raw HTML, without benefit of a spell checker. And, obviously, I don't have an editor on staff here at Chrismukkah.com.
3- Believe it or not, we have not profited from Chrismukkah. The niche appeal of the site pretty much guarantees we never will. Chrismukkah is a labor of love, a project of the heart. Over the past 3 years, it's been a sort of "mitzvah", as my rabbi calls it. I don't mean to bitch, but you brought it up. Since founding the site 3 years ago, it's cost considerably more to operate the Chrismukkah venture than we receive in sales and royalties combined. While I certainly wouldn't oppose being compensated for the thousands of hours it's taken to build and maintain the website, write and photograph content for the two books, and answer the dozens of emails we receive each day, making a profit from Chrismukkah.com has never been a priority. This is a volunteer project... we receive no compensation.
Why do we do this then? It's a form of social activism, I suppose. Ego motivates me too, no doubt. It's nice to get fan mail, and for every negative comment like yours, there are 10 positive comments. Frankly, it's fun to challenge the status quo and question tradition. Chrismukkah has gotten people talking, allowing expression of diverse opinion, and it's helped bring Jewish intermarriage issues to mainstream cultural awareness. Michelle and I launched the site to express the views of our "real" interfaith family, rather than allowing a fabricated Fox TV family to represent us. While we are typical, in the sense that (until Chrismukkah) we never had a political or theological agenda, we certainly don't believe we represent the beliefs of all interfaith couples. That said, it has been a nice surprise to find how many others share our beliefs and values. We've found that celebrating both December holidays... not literally merging them... but celebrating both, rather than excluding one or the other, we manage to keep peace and harmony within our family. Our family celebrates Hanukkah as most American Jews do - with menorah lighting, latke frying, dreidel spinning, and gift exchanges on each of the 8 nights. We also have a Christmas tree in our living room, in the opposite corner of course, and my wife cherishes the ritual of decorating the tree. I've heard from many Jews who say they refuse to allow their spouse to bring a Christmas tree into the house... that having a tree disrespects their Judaism. I don't believe that's a very good way to make a marriage work.
4 - Agreed. Hanukkah is not an important Jewish holiday... at least it's not relative to the more religious Jewish holidays. Hanukkah commemorates Jewish oppression and the ongoing struggle for religious freedom. But it's not a particularly religious holiday, making it more acceptable to make light of.
5- My family celebrates Hanukkah and Christmas independently. Then we also have our pretend shared family holiday of Chrismukkah. Chrismukkah allows us to enjoy what we have in common, instead of accentuating what makes us different.
6- Not all Jews live in Jewish safe havens like New York. Try living or traveling elsewhere to learn how a broader cross-section of Jews think and feel.
7 - Christmas is not just about Christ. It may well be for religious Christians, but for the rest of us, who, despite not believing in Christ, still can enjoy going to the Nutcracker Suite ballet, holiday music, holiday movies, the lights and decorations downtown, the store windows, and the other festive secular rituals of the season. Not to mention that long ago, our government decided to make Christmas a Federal holiday... just like Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, and MLK Day.
posted by Ron at 9:40 AM
4 Comments:
You wrote:
"This post is in response to Ava, who doesn't like the idea of Chrismukkah and wrote a series of comments to my last blog entry."
Actually, it's Eva. But you must get so many messages, I am flattered that you respond to mine.
"It's because of people who lack tolerance and holiday cheer that we created Chrismukkah.com in the first place."
I'm giggling at the idea that I " lack tolerance and holiday cheer." I - a Jew - suggested that Christians (both cultural and religious) should be allowed to appreciate Christmas for what it is. That they shouldn't have to blend what is a very important holiday for them. I said that "it's possible to raise kids one religion while allowing them experience the other culturally through extended family." These statements – and numerous others I made – exemplify open-mindedness; not the opposite.
I realize it's easier for you to lump all Jews who oppose Chrismukkah together under one fundamentalist umbrella – I've seen your comments to others - but my critique was not "one size fits all." That's probably what prompted this entry.
"You oddly assumption we are raising our daughter to be Christian and to celebrate Christmas."
Actually, no – I said you might be like a few interfaith families who are raising their kids to be Mish Mash, when others choose to raise them simply as Jews or Christians, or whatever religion applies. "Mish Mash" is what the celebration of Chrismukkah connotes.
" I am a proud Jew. I went to Hebrew school, was Bar Mitzvah'd and am very involved in our small Jewish community here in Bozeman. Our rabbi instructed us that Reform Judaism considers one who is raised as a Jew, with Jewish traditions, is indeed a Jew, even if the mother isn't. I know that may not go down well with Conservative Jewish beliefs, but that is what we chose to do."
Whose assuming now? I am quite comfortable with Paternal Lineage and Jews by Choice, and I am not a Conservative Jew. Nor do I still live in NY; I have lived in several other places, but thanks for the suggestion I try getting out once in a while! (By the way, you became a Bar Mitzvah – you didn't get "Bar Mitzvah'd." Sorry, it's a pet peeve. But a spell checker would not have caught anyway.)
"Ego motivates me too, no doubt. It's nice to get fan mail, and for every negative comment like yours, there are 10 positive comments."
Well, of course there are! Most people who feel the way I do just roll their eyes and click away from your site. No reason for all the self-congratulations there! And I'm quite sure that those who think there's reason to equate Chanukah and Christmas are happy to find validation here, too. That's kind of a no-brainer.
"Agreed. Hanukkah is a lightweight holiday and it is all about religious persecution and freedom. Which is why it's the perfect Jewish holiday to treat it lightly... unlike your suggestion to mess with Passover."
No, no – I said I was grateful that you kept your hands off of Passover. So far.
Christmas is not just about Christ. It may well be for religious Christians, but for all the rest of us who, despite not believing in Christ, still enjoy going to the Nutcracker Suite ballet, the holiday music, the holiday movies, the lights and decorations downtown, the store display windows, and all the other festive secular rituals of the season.
I agree. Christmas is pretty. Christmas is happy. For Jews, the sights and sounds and smells of Christmas can be appreciated. As Christmas. A Holiday we don't celebrate. Nor blend into one of ours.
Oh, and since you were so kind as to offer me advice, allow me to give some to you, and to any of your readers for whom it might apply: From one (former) New York Jew to another (both of us intermarried and raising Jewish kids) ... Helping one's child to love Judaism, or even just form a Jewish identity takes work year-round – even more when one's spouse is not Jewish. It takes more than eating latkes and lighting a menorah in December. (Probably MUCH more when the father of the child in question maintains Chrismukkah.com and everything associated with it.)
And unlike all the work you put into this site, there is a very real return on your time. :)
Best,
Eva
Hi, Ron
I was going tidying up my computer files when I ran across something I wrote last year in response to this entry. Your blog would not let it post at the time (probably some technological glitch; I'm sure you weren't censoring) so thanks in advance for letting me post it now so I can weed it out of my files:
You wrote:
"This post is in response to Ava, who doesn't like the idea of Chrismukkah and wrote a series of comments to my last blog entry."
Actually, it's Eva. But you must get so many messages, I am flattered that you respond to mine.
"It's because of people who lack tolerance and holiday cheer that we created Chrismukkah.com in the first place."
I'm giggling at the idea that I " lack tolerance and holiday cheer." I - a Jew - suggested that Christians (both cultural and religious) should allowed to appreciate Christmas for what it is. That they shouldn't have to blend what is a very important holiday for them. I said that "it's possible to raise kids one religion while allowing them experience the other culturally through extended family." These statements – and numerous others I made – exemplify open-mindedness; not the opposite.
I realize it's easier for you to lump all Jews who oppose Chrismukkah together under one fundamentalist umbrella – I've seen your comments to others - but my critique was not "one size fits all." That's probably what prompted this entry.
"You oddly assumption we are raising our daughter to be Christian and to celebrate Christmas."
Actually, no – I said you might be like a few interfaith families who are raising their kids to be Mish Mash, when others choose to raise them simply as Jews or Christians, or whatever religion applies. "Mish Mash" is what the celebration of Chrismukkah connotes.
" I am a proud Jew. I went to Hebrew school, was Bar Mitzvah'd and am very involved in our small Jewish community here in Bozeman. Our rabbi instructed us that Reform Judaism considers one who is raised as a Jew, with Jewish traditions, is indeed a Jew, even if the mother isn't. I know that may not go down well with Conservative Jewish beliefs, but that is what we chose to do."
Whose assuming now? I am quite comfortable with Paternal Lineage and Jews by Choice, and I am not a Conservative Jew. Nor do I still live in NY; I have lived in several other places, but thanks for the suggestion I try getting out once in a while! (By the way, you became a Bar Mitzvah – you didn't get "Bar Mitzvah'd." Sorry, it's a pet peeve. But a spell checker would not have caught anyway.)
"Ego motivates me too, no doubt. It's nice to get fan mail, and for every negative comment like yours, there are 10 positive comments."
Well, of course there are! Most people who feel the way I do just roll their eyes and click away from your site. No reason for all the self-congratulations there! And I'm quite sure that those who think there's reason to equate Chanukah and Christmas are happy to find validation here, too. That's kind of a no-brainer.
"Agreed. Hanukkah is a lightweight holiday and it is all about religious persecution and freedom. Which is why it's the perfect Jewish holiday to treat it lightly... unlike your suggestion to mess with Passover."
No, no – I said I was grateful that you kept your hands off of Passover. So far.
Christmas is not just about Christ. It may well be for religious Christians, but for all the rest of us who, despite not believing in Christ, still enjoy going to the Nutcracker Suite ballet, the holiday music, the holiday movies, the lights and decorations downtown, the store display windows, and all the other festive secular rituals of the season.
I agree. Christmas is pretty. Christmas is happy. For Jews, the sights and sounds and smells of Christmas can be appreciated. As Christmas. A Holiday we don't celebrate. Nor blend into one of ours.
Oh, and since you were so kind as to offer me advice, allow me to give some to you, and to any of your readers for whom it might apply: From one (former) New York Jew to another (both of us intermarried and raising Jewish kids) ... Helping one's child to love Judaism, or even just form a Jewish identity takes work year-round – even more when one's spouse is not Jewish. It takes more than eating latkes and lighting a menorah in December. (Probably MUCH more when the father of the child in question maintains Chrismukkah.com and everything associated with it.)
And unlike all the work you put into this site, there is a very real return on your time. :)
Best,
Eva
Why does your blog do that? I wrote a little blurb about how I ran across this response I wrote and saved in my computer, and it bounces back to the original thing I wrote last December? *shrug* I do note that you need to approve all messages now though - I'd missed that before. THAT sure explains why my comments never posted! - Eva
Why is everyone busy lately with LED menorahs?? I like this menorah http://www.hhjudaica.com/New-York-City-Menorah.html it reminds me of loved ones lost in 9-11
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